When death becomes part of the picture.

Yesterday a friend from grade school passed away.
My jaw dropped and all I could do was breath in and out to keep my heart rate under control.
I don't think until that very moment I realized how fragile we all are, I mean I did to some point, you have to if you are going to be a doctor; but to have someone you would have never guessed would go, go, it's a real reality check.
I haven't ever had much death in my life, and have been very blessed not to. This was new for me and after returning from the hospital to hear this kind of news just almost stopped my heart. I felt like I should have been there, like if I had enough training I could have done something. I didn't want to come to facts that she was gone and that throughout this carreer choice I will have to face death over and over again. Even so much on a daily basis.
I don't know how I will react when have to call my first time of death or loose my fisrt patient, but I hope I react with understanding and rationality.
My job is to save lives, to help prolong, but I hope I can understand that in a moment like that, that sometimes it's just the right time for someone to move on.
I will miss my old friend. & will always think of all the good times we had.
R.I.P. Kristan, my prayers are with you and you're family.
-Jess. a.pre.med.girl.

My thoughts on Kristan's in her passing away page[kristan.lusvardi.org]:
Jessica Burdge said...
Lusvardi Family, I must first say how deeply sorry I am for the loss of Kristan. I was in such shock when I heard the news and know that this time for your family must be very hard. My prayers are with you and I send my love.
Kristan was a girl I will never forget. I remember back when we where little in Elementary School, the days of american girl dolls and sleepovers, adventures in the elevator and writting letters to eachother for the fun of it. We did curious cubs on hippos and would watch Lauren's gymanstic meets together. -We where there like two little peas in a pod, and I always called her my best friend, there was never a time when I wouldn't want to walk up the street to play.
As the years went by we became our own individuals. We would cheer in middle school and through high school stay friends, always saying hi when we saw each other.
I will always remember her sweet dimple smile, contagous laugh, and big friendly JB's in the hallway. -Kristan was an amazing girl, and will always be remembered in my heart.
I love you Kristan and will miss you.
Love forever - "JB"
[Jessica Burdge]